Cerby9

3 Months Later...

I realize how restrictive I've been in regards to my own progress. Once things have settled I plan to leave my cell and set in motion plans for the betterment of my future. As much as I enjoy the dark, a little light can create shadows.

So with this I say onwards till the next mistake. I regret the way it came off but not the action itself. I shall move on and try again with the next interaction and the next till i get it right. Because I refuse to be trapped by these issues I have.

I shan't beat myself up further for this misunderstanding. Nor will I use this as an excuse to quit conversing like I have in the pass. I may have been misunderstood but there are still things to learn on like improving my approach.

And thus it happens again. In ny attempt to clarify I've made things more confusing. My anxiety is high and i feel humiliated all because of my own faults. Atleast with this individual they were kind and fair. Regardless it has passed with little damage.

Hope you get better soon dude and all your 'Dreams' come true. I obv hadn't seen your 'diary' here before responding to your last comment. Genuinely didn't upset me btw, it just doesn't make much sense to go out of your way just to tell a stranger...

My recent bout of Isolation is my first in over a year that is to this extent. I haven't seen another human body in about 6 days. Just noises from passing cars, the hooting of a owl during my lonely nights, and the text from online conversations long ago.

Social Anxiety is a tough issue to overcome. However by setting a Goal every now and then to get you out of your comfort zone is the way I found to deal with it. Conversations are still filled with assumptions on the correct response. But its a start.

Unless I unlock the creative side I hope I have. I'll pose as a player and give feedback. Perhaps thats my role or perhaps I've no confidence. Either way, I've enjoyed tonight and I look to having My Dreams a reality.

I have changed this lsst year at a alarming rate. I hope to continue my progress into adapting to society. I hope someday I will contribute in one way or another. But as of right now I prefer my self analysis and the pursuit on forever growing.

I've been here before in a long lost dream. The dark loneliness creeps close to my own self imposed prison. On a boat Im lost at sea without a friend, will this journey ever end?

I say this to find my creative outlet. I have grown and thus my dream ends.