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Hey! That's my tutorial! ^^
You can set a grab point on elements only. I think I explained that around 4:42.
You cannot adjust these inside a scene; you'd need to go to the element itself and adjust it, then save, go back to the scene and update it. And for anything else, surface snap works as you explained; there's no way of telling it what point should be snapped apart from the point you grabbed it by.
Can I ask what kind of thing you're trying to do? Perhaps there's another way of doing it that may prove useful.